Thursday, April 19, 2018

It's a name not a description

One of my failings, of many, is that I am often ungracious especially when it comes to receiving gifts or compliments.

I received an unexpected gift yesterday and my emailed 'thank you' included "Please don't spend your hard-earned money on me" That was ungracious. So please Lisa pardon my ungraciousness and do not think I am ungrateful. Quite the contrary, I am VERY grateful that you actually paid attention to me.

Gifts (and compliments) make me very emotional and I don't know what to do with them, the emotions I mean. Quite often I gush to the point of embarrassment, for both me and the gift giver. I am always just so taken aback that someone would give ME a gift. And when it is an extremely thoughtful gift, when someone paid attention to some little thing I said, I am reduced to a complete puddle of tears and mush.

I love to give gifts, nothing makes me happier. I would spend every penny I have on gifts if I could. It makes me so happy to surprise someone and make them happy. Or make them laugh or give them something useful that I know they need or want.

When I am ungracious receiving a gift I am taking away that happy feeling from the gift giver. If it makes me happy to give a gift doesn't it stand to reason that it makes other people happy to give gifts?

I am going to stop beating myself up on this but I am going to try to be self-aware on the subject.  I am going to have to remind myself before I write that thank you note that there is pleasure in giving as well as receiving. If someone cares about me enough to send me a gift then I should thank them for that as well. Because it's the caring that counts as much as, if not more so, than the material gift.

I'm feeling a bit like Sally Field here -