Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Autumn

Ann asked  what was everyone's favorite thing about Fall. I prefer to call it Autumn - just a nice word all around. And that simple question set my mind off because I like everything about Autumn.

Autumn feels like home. Not that it reminds me of any place I have ever lived, Autumn IS a place. A physical place I inhabit,  it is home.

It is so easy to wax lyrical about the Fall - the colors, of course, how obvious. But the light - the light is different in the Fall. The sun is lower in the sky and the afternoons come sooner. The light is filtered by orange, red and yellow leaves. It is light that wraps itself around you and holds you close and dear.

The air smells crisp and clean, you can touch it and taste it - like the the Autumn apples symbolic of the season. If by some chance someone, somewhere, is burning the fallen leaves, the smell and wisps of smoke add a layer of warmth and magic.

A late afternoon thunderstorm - the sky a dark grey blanket, almost bare branches tapping at the window covered in wet and windblown russet leaves...It makes me feel protected and safe.

Some people find Autumn a little sad, they think of it as the beginning to the end - of Summer, of the year, of their lives.

September is my New Year and a time of beginnings, October, the grandest month of the year, is my birth month. Autumn is everything to me. It is me. It is my home. It is my safe place.

But I understand those who feel differently...


Friday, September 23, 2016

Frankie gets in these moods

where she has to be close to, or attached to, a human at all times. Frankie is not a lap cat unless there are layers of fabric between her and the lap. Yet, yet - she will happily drape herself over my bare arm and stay there forever...She's a cat.

Monday was one of her 'must be with human' day. I was sitting at the dining table trying to read - the operative word here is trying - Miss Lulu Belle needed/wanted my full attention.
Yes, edited. Taken with an iPad which has a shit camera
I put the iPad back on the table and she got behind it and hung her chin over the top - I near died with the cuteness. So I went and got the big camera, put it on the table and then tried reading again while she pushed the camera around. (I posted a short video on FB with her reaction to the camera).

She really wasn't pleased with my not paying attention to her so she tried to block my view...
Blocking my view...

I just like this one...

Aww, sweet, right?
Then I kinda just slid her off to the side and I got this...the death stare,

You can always click on the photos to biggify them...

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

While driving in the car-car

today the song 'Gentle on  My Mind' came on. As Glen Campbell was singing "It's knowin' that your door is always open and your path is free to walk"  I was singing  It's knowin' that your door is always open and your furniture is gone..

It's not that I misheard the lyrics, it's that we often changed the lyrics to songs when we were kids. Now that particular song came out when I was older so I suspect my younger brother's friends came up with that one. They also messed with the lyrics to Beatles' songs - as in Close your eyes and I'll slug you, tomorrow I'll mug you..

Do you sense a theme there? Could it be a NYC kinda thing?

When I was little, in the late 40's-early 50's, we kids sang songs with altered lyrics. Some reflected world events, as in Whistle while you work, Hitler was a jerk, Mussolini bit my beanie, now it doesn't work. I'm not too sure what that even meant but I do remember singing it.

There was also Hi-ho, hi-ho it's off to school we go, from 9 to 3 in misery, Hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho.  Of course that is from Disney's 1938 movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I never saw that movie, it was a bit before my time, but obviously some kid somewhere did.

There was also Take my toe, I'm a stranger in the RKO, lost somewhere in the second row, kissing Marilyn Monroe... that's off of Stranger in Paradise from "Kismet".

Most of the people who read this blog (with the exception of vanilla) are younger than I, so I'm wondering if any of you, as kids, changed the lyrics of popular songs to something snarky?

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Random photo

I took a picture of my husband and cats this morning - their usual 8:30am nap always amuses me. When I downloaded the photos to my computer I saw a few random photos which I had no recollection of taking - there was no reason for them since they were of nothing of interest. Then I remembered several weeks ago I was trying to take a photo of Frankie and the pics were coming out all fuzzy. Trying to figure out why I realized that the camera had been set to manual. I re-set it to auto and I guess I took some test photos.

This one I actually liked - about a month ago I cleaned out my bookshelves, filled three trash bags with books and now my shelves are looking empty...

click to biggify if you want to see the details of what's on the shelves

Friday, September 16, 2016

The unvarnished truth

I read something last week where the author prides themself on over-sharing; telling the unvarnished truth even tipping over into TMI. They want everyone to know every little thing about them. They wish to be known down to their last little foible. Their every thought and opinion presented but not judged.

To be known. Deep down in your heart of hearts; even to the dark parts of your soul. Should you? Should we be that transparent, that naked?

While I have been cogitating on that the Universe has been throwing various aspects of it in my way.

I often think, don't know if I have said, that I wish I was known, not famous you understand, but that someone knew me. Knew all of me. Knew all of my life; knew all of my darkness as well as the light. Knew what I have said and done and thought and felt. I know that some of my words and deeds and beliefs would discomfort some people; would have them judge me harshly, just as some of my words and deeds and beliefs would raise me in their esteem.

We humans seem to have a need to be known. We want to put it all out there; dump it all out on the table and have someone partake of it all, not pick and choose what pleases them.

The unvarnished truth; the naked truth about ourselves - all of it. Do we even know it, how then to share it? Should we?

We crave complete and unconditional acceptance. Is that even possible? Should it be?

Keeping something of yourself for yourself alone; keeping your secrets to enjoy, because yes, some secrets can be joyful, happy - those wild dreams and fantasies and what-ifs. We want to hold some of them close, do we not?  And do we not all have something we wish to hide, and wish we didn't?

So I am torn - I want to tell it all - the unvarnished, naked truth; my unvarnished naked truth. But who, or what, would it serve? Only me. Only my insecurities and my hubris.

There is that line about never lying because then you don't have to remember what you said. Telling the truth regardless of the consequence because it's the right thing to do - telling the truth. Right for whom?

So this is a mish-mash of talking about truth telling as opposed to lying, and truth telling to - what - find love, acceptance, relieve guilt, feel connected, be known.

Perhaps the naked truth should remain clothed; the unvarnished truth retain some polish, or perhaps we should be like Gregory Corso-

The Whole Mess ... Almost

Related Poem Content Details

I ran up six flights of stairs 
to my small furnished room   
opened the window 
and began throwing out 
those things most important in life 

First to go, Truth, squealing like a fink: 
“Don’t! I’ll tell awful things about you!” 
“Oh yeah? Well, I’ve nothing to hide ... OUT!” 
Then went God, glowering & whimpering in amazement:   
“It’s not my fault! I’m not the cause of it all!” “OUT!”   
Then Love, cooing bribes: “You’ll never know impotency!   
All the girls on Vogue covers, all yours!” 
I pushed her fat ass out and screamed: 
“You always end up a bummer!” 
I picked up Faith Hope Charity 
all three clinging together: 
“Without us you’ll surely die!” 
“With you I’m going nuts! Goodbye!” 

Then Beauty ... ah, Beauty— 
As I led her to the window 
I told her: “You I loved best in life 
... but you’re a killer; Beauty kills!”   
Not really meaning to drop her 
I immediately ran downstairs 
getting there just in time to catch her   
“You saved me!” she cried 
I put her down and told her: “Move on.” 

Went back up those six flights 
went to the money 
there was no money to throw out. 
The only thing left in the room was Death   
hiding beneath the kitchen sink: 
“I’m not real!” It cried 
“I’m just a rumor spread by life ... ”   
Laughing I threw it out, kitchen sink and all   
and suddenly realized Humor 
was all that was left— 
All I could do with Humor was to say:   
“Out the window with the window!”