Thursday, May 21, 2015

Alone/Lonely - Certainly not the same thing


you can be one without the other. I've always defined lonely as wanting/missing something, or someone, you had before but don't have now. Make sense?

I am alone. A loner. Always have been, always will be. It's who I am - no problem. I don't really think of myself as an introvert. I like people. I can live without them tho.  I interact easily with anyone and everyone. And give me an audience, I'm singing and dancing.  I don't like crowds and I don't like people touching me without permission. I'm not really one to hug people I don't know well.  And sometimes I not comfortable with hugging people I DO know well.

This train of thought was promoted by a post from my friend Jennifer - and it reminded me of a poem I wrote a long time ago. About a particular person and my relationship with him. Rooting around in my old writings there is so much about that person and that relationship. How incredibly dysfunctional it was and I have repeated that dysfunction in every relationship I have ever been in.

Oh my old therapist and I would have a high old time if we could sit down and talk all this through. I suppose it all boils down to repeating the same behaviors, trying to get them right. Things is, you never get them right because they were wrong from the very beginning.  Ye-ha - I don't even want to think about this any more - makes my head hurt.

Anyway, this is the old poem I wrote sometime back in the mid-80's
Alone – but lonely?
  No – not that.......
exactly

Just apart from,
that is .............
not a part of.

He and I – alone,
us two, then
we’re together

He and I and
anyone else then
I’m alone and not
a part of

Not we or us or
together
Just me – alone
and he with them.

He a part of....
Me apart from...
Lonely – not exactly

Just alone,
Just one,
Just me.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Annnnd it's Spring again...

If Winter weather wasn't crazy enough it affected Spring too. Late April we had late Winter temperatures - still had the heat on.

Then we had a few days of glorious Spring weather, followed by a few days of early Summer, followed by Spring followed by mid-Summer.

And so it goes.

For the past three days it has been high Summer, temps close to/over 90 with humidity to match.

Today - Spring, Glorious Spring! And it will be so through the weekend. Monday high Summer will be back with a vengeance.

No predictions for the weather further out than 10 days, so who knows what craziness awaits BUT
for the next 5 days days...

Spring, Glorious Spring!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Not quite a chauvinist

because I do not tend towards "aggressive or exaggerated patriotism" but (there's always a 'but', isn't there?) I am weary of Made in China crap.

I have been penny-wise and pound foolish when shopping by price instead of quality and country of origin.  Don't get me wrong sale is my favorite 4-letter word and I am frugal but how frugal is it when the item you get for a small price lasts barely long enough for you to use it once?

Almost always (almost!) when I finally identify a product I want to purchase I check the 'country of origin' and if it is China I move on. I will actually search for "____ made in the USA".  Usually when I find it it is more than double the price of the item made in China. Most of the time I bite the bullet and buy USA.

I've fought the battle of the bed linens and for all the money that I have wasted on linens made in China (totally worthless crap) or made in India (nice fabric I must admit but the fit is always off) I could have bought bed linens made in the USA.  A set of king-sized cotton sheets made in the USA start at $300+ yet I have thrown out, after one washing, so many sheets sets made in other countries that I could have easily financed USA made.

The other day I decided I need new bath mats/rugs and I wanted a very dark green. No luck on the color and I was taken aback by the price. When did bath rugs get so darn expensive. I finally did find a color I could live with, at a price I was willing to pay. I bought them without checking the country of origin. When I took the rugs out of the box I was so pleased with the quality. Thick and lush and plush. Nice. As I read the washing instructions I noted the country of origin. USA! (You were expecting something else, weren't you?) Well hot damn. Score.

I could ramble on about all the things I don't buy (including food items) because I can't find USA made products. And I could ramble on about all the Made in USA products I do buy.

I could easily note the USA products that are crap, the Hershey version of Cadbury products leaps to mind, instead I'll just give you links for the bath rugs I just bought and a link to a directory of Made in USA Products.

Go USA!

Sunday, May 17, 2015

This time it was totally her idea...

A week ago I posted pictures of Miss Frankie on the new, unused cat perch in my office. The only reason she was on it was because I put her there!

Today she has been on and off it all day - at first to get away from the noise machine (vacuum cleaner) and now I guess she just wants to spend time with me - I don't know. Maybe she can get a better view from here rather than the living room of the person hanging out on their balcony, just across from us but one floor down...

I'm just thrilled that she is using it...it sat on un-sat on for 3 months...
Uh-oh - the camera!
What's that? A human?
I'll just get comfy and keep an eye out...

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Despite the fact that

it is 86ยบ and the sun is shining to beat the band, the humidity is only 40% and there is a 15mph breeze. All in all a fabuuulous day.

Unlike yesterday, when the temps were lower but the humidity was off the charts. Last night around midnight the temp was hovering in the mid 70's and the humidity was 88%! I had to turn the dreaded, hated a/c on.  I hate a/c - it gives me a headache.

Yesterday was such a lethargic day that I was the only one awake for most of it. It was such a draggy day that even Miss Frankie could not muster up the energy to hiss at BB. The two of them spent 6 hours (6 hours!) like this...

Today being nicer, while they are still sleeping the afternoon away, BB has the chest all to himself and Frankie is ensconced in the big recliner. My husband is in the bedroom napping and at 1:30 in the afternoon I am pretty much alone in the silence.

I should have lunch, do my crossword puzzle, then work on formatting the new volume of Today's Conversation.  I should also clean the bathroom and swiffer-mop the floors - they so need it.

Then again I can sit myself down at the dining table, with a cup of tea and just stare out the window at the trees blowing lazily in the breeze, and day dream the afternoon away....